The Worst Advice I Took During A Transition: “Stick It Out”

I was in a role where shortly after I joined the company, there was a major restructure and my department was disbanded.

I wasn’t impacted by the layoffs as a result, but the role I accepted basically didn’t exist anymore. In fact, this was more than a restructure–it was a complete rebrand. The name of the company on my offer letter was no longer the company I worked at. The department was gone. Yet, my title was the same.

It was a Friday when I found out. I was on my way to a nail appointment first thing in the morning when I got a Teams call from my manager. It was early her time, 5:30 AM, and she usually spent her mornings getting her young boys to school, so I immediately thought that was weird. I told her I was away from my desk and would call her as soon as I sat down.

I walked back to my car a block away. (There seems to be a pattern about learning about job updates while I’m sitting in my car–read my layoff story here). I called her back and she told me that the head of our department has left the company. I read between the lines.

I said to her, “Not to make this about me but I’m moving tomorrow to New Jersey and I have new bills. What does this mean for us?”

Our department basically dissolved. All of the contractors on our team–some of whom were at a status meeting I led just the day before–were no longer contracted. The only people left were the four of us who were full-time employees.

Still, my manager assured me that both she and I had our jobs. She even told me to focus on my move and getting settled.

Here’s the thing, this manager was one of my favorite managers in my career. We just vibed. And ultimately, I knew that she had to figure out her next move before helping me figure out mine. I was grateful for her transparency.

But, I started to feel like I was stuck between two major life changes: a new apartment in a new state and a job that seemed to be falling apart. The pressure of both was weighing on me, and my nervous system was anything but calm.

I tried to tell myself everything would work out, because it always does. But on one hand, I wanted to be calm and patient, but on the other, I felt like I was wasting time.

This is where I leaned more into the cliche “focus on the things you can control”. So, I focused on getting settled in my new apartment. Adjusting to a slightly slower pace. Decorating and making it my home. I needed to feel my feet on the ground again.

Also, the move from Brooklyn to New Jersey was much more stressful than moving from my hometown of Chicago to Brooklyn. I think it’s because I felt like I was both running away and running towards something. I was really in transition.

But even as I told myself I was in “transition,” there was a part of me that felt lost, like I was just waiting for something to change. Every morning, I woke up dreading the same thing—the uncertainty. The anxiety built up in my chest, reminding me that something had to give. 

A few months later, after another round of layoffs, I got worried and started wondering what to do. I was basically floating until I was reassigned. At some point, someone would notice that I was getting paid to do nothing, right?

Now, there are some people who might say “as long as you’re getting paid, don’t worry about it”. Tell that to my nervous system. Because the thing is this: money solves a lot of things but does not solve for emotional exhaustion. Truth is, I was tired.

In hindsight, that would have been a good time to pursue some of the passion projects on my list, but I was in survival mode and wanted a solution immediately.

I needed help to navigate what I was dealing with.

I started working with a new career coach to help me update my resume and LinkedIn, and his advice was to “hang in there” and “stick it out” because the job market was rough. 

At this point, I was running out of steam. Feeling drained and defeated. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. I knew something inside me was pushing me to make a decision, but I couldn’t find the strength to do it. Instead, I followed his advice, hoping that maybe this was just a rough patch. 

I had no energy left. I didn’t even look for another coach for a second opinion. And even though something told me to come up with my own plan, I decided to stick it out.

Had I been honest with myself, I would have voiced my fears. I was scared to go back to the job market. It was the wild wild west. And it has been since 2020. Even practicing my response to “tell me about yourself” was draining.

Months later, I realized that sticking it out was the worst advice. I talked to my therapist at the time who reminded me that I’m the expert of my life. That conversation shook me. 

It was a wake-up call. I realized I had been stuck, not because of my job or the market, but because I wasn’t trusting myself to take the next step forward.

For the first time in months, maybe even a year or two, I realized that I had been giving my power away.  I had been waiting for someone else to tell me what to do when deep down, I already knew: I couldn’t keep waiting—I had to take control.

And that’s when I decided that I couldn’t keep sticking it out with no goal. So I gave myself three months to find a new job. Either way, I would leave that company after three months. 

I ended up leaving during what they kept calling the Great Resignation. And it was much better than sticking it out at a job that was going nowhere but left me burned out.

So if you’re feeling stuck, waiting for things to get better, or hoping for clarity to magically appear—don’t just “hang in there.” 

Give yourself a timeline. Set a goal. Make a plan that puts you in control of what happens next.

Because “sticking it out” is NOT a strategy—it’s delaying the life and career you actually want and deserve.

If you’re ready to take control of your own transition—whether in your career or life—don’t wait for things to magically fall into place. Download my free Transition Guide.

This guide will help you assess where you are in your transition journey and reflect on five major questions to ask before making a shift.