Hard Season of change or Unnecessary Chaos? How to Tell the Difference
I’m Kathlyn. And as a Transition Strategist, I help high-performing women navigate life and career transitions without unnecessary chaos.
I started wondering if anyone knows what I mean by “unnecessary chaos”. Because chaos is everywhere. All chaos isn’t bad – but some is optional.
I’m going to hold your hand when I say this: sometimes, we cause unnecessary chaos in our own lives – especially during life and career shifts.
And sometimes, we’re so used to it that we don’t know there’s another way.
When Life Forces the Shift
I’ve seen a lot of people wait until life forces them to shift.
The layoff from a job they outgrew.
The unexpected incident that forced them to move to a new home.
The disappointment when a partnership falls apart – even though you knew it was no longer aligned
I know because I’ve experienced all of those.
And we might even be conditioned to think that those changes — in our careers, relationships, health, or sense of self — must be chaotic. That we have to blow up our lives and flip tables over to start something new.
What We See on TV
We see it in TV all the time:
Calling off a wedding when it’s supposed to be starting
Quitting their job – while drunk – and then realizing they didn’t think it through
Going into a rage when their rent went up and realizing they had no choice but to move
Now, technically, there’s supposed to be an inciting incident that sends a character on their hero’s journey on TV. But are you a television character?
The Weight of Transition for Black Women
Transitions are usually multilayered – especially for Black women and women of color. We’re carrying the weight of the past, present, and future on our backs. The weight is real.
But that doesn’t mean every part of the process has to feel like we’re in the middle of an episode of the most dramatic series on a streaming service.
Why Change Feels Unsafe — Even When You Want It
Here’s the thing: change is hard. Period. Our brains are wired to keep us safe and change doesn’t always feel safe. Even the changes that we want. Our brains don’t know the difference. It’s uncomfortable.
And when you’re in the middle of a transition, it’s really hard to tell how much of the discomfort is part of the process… and what’s avoidable chaos.
You might be asking:
Am I challenging myself to do new things or am I overdoing it and overextending myself?
Do I actually need to say yes to everything – in the name of “trying something new?”
Am I creating extra pressure to prove something – either to others or to myself?
And in the middle of all that noise, you start to question your own intuition – you start to second-guess yourself.
Transitions Are an Invitation
Transitions are an opportunity for you to get to know yourself. An opportunity for you to slow down to hear yourself think.
It might take some time – especially if you’re as stubborn as me – but you finally pause long enough to say: “It doesn’t have to be this hard”.
That’s when you realize: the hard season, the change, may be unavoidable, but the unnecessary chaos? That’s a choice.
And in the middle of all that noise, your intuition gets cloudy. You start to second-guess yourself.
But here’s the opportunity:
Transitions are a chance to get to know yourself.
To slow down enough to hear yourself think.
And if you're anything like me, it might take a minute. But eventually, you pause long enough to ask: “Does it really have to be this hard?”
That’s when you realize:
The hard season — the change itself — might be unavoidable.
But the unnecessary chaos? That’s a choice.
Here’s the difference:
Typical (or expected) chaos looks like:
Emotional ups and downs while processing change
Needing more rest, more practice, more patience
Feeling disoriented as you adjust to your new normal
Unnecessary chaos shows up when:
You try to do everything yourself instead of asking for or investing in support
You push yourself to perform when you really need to pause
You hold on to outdated beliefs, roles, or responsibilities that no longer serve you
Notice the difference?
Your Next Chapter Doesn’t Have to Begin in Burnout
When I say I help high-performing Black women navigate life and career transitions without unnecessary chaos, I’m not promising a smooth or painless process.
But I am helping you pause long enough to ask: “Is this the life or career I truly want — or just what I’ve gotten used to surviving?”
Because your next chapter doesn’t have to begin in burnout.
It can begin with clarity — and just enough courage to choose ease where it’s available.
Ready to Navigate Your Next Chapter with More Ease?
If you're in the middle of a transition — or feeling like one is on the horizon — you don't have to navigate it alone.
Explore how we can work together to move through this season with clarity, intention, and less chaos.