I’m a Transition Strategist: Here’s How I Cope with Change
“One day, you’ll have to lead your team through change.”
I can’t remember which grad school professor said it, but I’ve never forgotten the lesson: change is inevitable — and most of us resist it.
It’s been over a decade since I first learned about change management. Back then, I didn’t imagine I’d be guiding individuals and businesses through transitions of all kinds. Because like I said, most people push back — even when change is necessary.
But that’s the thing about change: it doesn’t wait for permission. It doesn’t always wait until you’ve budgeted for it. It doesn’t check if you’re emotionally prepared.
It shows up. Sometimes slowly, quietly. Other times like a tornado with minimal warning.
I used to think change had to look like crisis: a layoff, a breakup, a big move. But some of the biggest transitions in my life started with something quieter — a feeling I couldn’t quite name. Something no longer fit. Something felt… off.
The Human Side of Change
And while change management is technically about guiding organizations, it’s really about people — the human side of change.
That’s the part I care most about.
Though I’m not a psychologist or licensed mental health professional, I’ve always been deeply interested in psychology and sociology. I was even in the psychology club in high school (still have the t-shirt to prove it). And honestly, there’s a lot of psychology behind how we navigate change.
Our brains are wired for safety, and to the brain, change can feel like danger. Our bodies don’t always know the difference between excitement and stress — the physiological response is often the same.
I used to wonder, “Why would I choose a field where people resist me before I even open my mouth?” But over time, I realized that guiding others through transition — with intention and without unnecessary chaos — is actually the work I’m most equipped to do.
And to do that well, I had to learn how to move through change in my own life first.
Here’s how I cope with change — both in life and in business.
1. Call it what it is
Have you ever resisted change simply because you didn’t acknowledge it as change? Sometimes, we hold on tightly to things that are familiar because letting go feels like losing control.
Trust me, I get it. I used to be a planner by trade – corporate events and project management – and it was my job to have plans and contingencies. And I also had to make quick decisions, sometimes under pressure. Professionally, I learned to pivot fast.
But personally? It used to be hard for me to acknowledge that my “plan” wasn’t working – especially when I had done everything I could. I used to be scared of the unknown.
What I didn’t realize then is that not naming the change gave it more power. When I finally started saying things like, “I’m in transition,” instead of “I feel stuck,” it brought an unexpected sense of relief. Not because anything was immediately solved — but because I could finally understand what I was dealing with.
There’s something powerful about calling things by their true name. Words matter. Once I had the words – the language – I could start to move with it instead of against it.
When I left a job that looked great on paper but felt misaligned every day, I didn’t know what to call it. I just knew my energy was gone. And I kept trying to fix a situation that was quietly telling me: it’s time to let go.
Naming the change — instead of minimizing it — helps my brain start to process. It brings relief.
Try it for yourself: reframe ‘I’m stuck’ or “I’m lost” to “I’m in transition” or “I’m changing”. Notice how it feels.
2. Name the feelings
Let’s talk about something we don’t always name in transitions: grief.
I don’t think enough people talk about what we lose when we’re in transition – both expected and unexpected transitions. And with any loss, there’s grief. With grief, there’s a number of different emotions and feelings.
And it’s not always about death or divorce. Sometimes we grieve:
The version of ourselves we thought we’d be
A community we leave behind after a job or move
A dream that didn’t unfold the way we hoped
The illusion of control we worked so hard to maintain
I experienced more loss than I ever expected — all in a short period of time. With each loss came a different level of grief. Grief is a journey, an unpredictable one at that. It’s not linear.
After I acknowledge that I’m in a transition, when I no longer deny it, that’s when I usually start to feel the losses: loss of the illusion of control, loss of identity, sometimes loss of stability. It’s disorienting and I feel scared, angry, sad, and sometimes disappointed.
And I sit with those feelings. Notice I said sit with – not stay. I also sometimes start romanticizing the past. It’s my brain’s way of trying to return to the “safety” of what was once familiar. Even if I’ve outgrown what once kept me safe.
And that’s when I need to give myself a gentle reminder that change is growth and growth is uncomfortable.
Sometimes that grief is subtle. It shows up in procrastination, in second-guessing, in nostalgia. It’s not always a full breakdown.
And everyone grieves differently.
3. Give grace
Change can harden us. We might lose trust in others and more often than not, in ourselves.
And I can be too hard on myself during transitions. I’ll say to myself, “Why didn’t I start this sooner?” or “How many times do I have to learn this lesson?” Can you relate?
When I am learning new things, I like to apply them quickly. But sometimes transitions are slow. Or sometimes, our transitions include other people – and we can’t control them or their pace.
I can be very hard on myself because I hold myself to a high standard (the result of being a child of immigrants). But the best thing I’ve learned — with help from both a therapist and a coach — is how to give myself grace.
I show myself compassion, and it helps me be kind to others too. We’re not supposed to know everything ALL the time – there’s always something to learn. Sometimes we can only learn things through life experiences, including transitions.
And I encourage you to give yourself grace too – especially during times of transitions. There’s no rule book to this thing called life, and everyone – I mean everyone – is figuring things out as they go.
There have been seasons where I felt like I “should’ve” already moved on, already healed, already figured it out. And those “shoulds” only added shame. Giving myself grace didn’t come naturally — it came through practice. It came from choosing to rest when I wanted to push. From choosing softness when I thought I needed to be “strong”.
Sometimes giving grace means setting a smaller goal. Drinking water. Texting one friend. Pausing for ten minutes in the sun. It all counts.
Letting go of others’ expectations — and honestly, my own — gave me space to move through transitions and strengthen my self-trust.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself of what you’ve overcome. At the end of the day, I know I’ll figure it out. I always have.
4. Find joy in the journey
I truly think we can find joy no matter what we’re going through. And I’m not talking about false positive platitudes or generic sayings. I mean true joy.
You see, joy comes from within. You can be down to nothing and still find joy.
Years ago during a difficult transition, I told my therapist at the time, “I’ll be happy once I have xyz”. And she helped me realize that I was giving power away to things outside of my control. I was waiting for a specific outcome before allowing myself to feel joy.
And looking back, once I received the thing that I thought would make me happy, it didn’t actually bring me joy. It actually created new problems.
Let’s be clear: feelings are fleeting. So by no means am I saying that you’ll feel joyful ALL the time. But finding joy takes a little more effort when you’re feeling uncomfortable during a life or career shift.
What helps me is to show gratitude for what I have and for what’s already on its way to me. Also, I’m more creative during seasons of change because I prioritize my hobbies more, my creative outlets.
Sometimes joy comes from finishing a room in a DIY miniature dollhouse that I built. Other times it’s dancing in my living room concerts, even if I cried moments before. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing to keep your heart open, even when things are uncertain.
Also, it can’t rain forever. The sun truly does shine again.
One more thing: your joy will bother some people. Be joyful anyway.
The transition already started — now it’s time to pay attention
You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to make a change.
If something feels… off — even if you can’t explain it — you’re not alone.
Transitions don’t always come with noise. Sometimes they show up quietly:
You’re no longer energized by what used to excite you
You keep saying you don’t know what you want, but deep down… you know
You're holding your breath, waiting for permission to exhale
And if you’re there right now, I just want you to know: you’re not behind. You’re just becoming.
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