5 Tips for overcoming a fear of change
You’ve probably heard someone — possibly me — say over and over that change is hard. And yes, it can be scary too. Our brains think change is a threat. Danger. And it wants to keep us safe from harm, both real danger and perceived.
But do you believe that it’s possible to overcome a fear of change?
In my 20s, I don’t think I was scared of change. I was more afraid about not reaching some of my goals within a certain amount of time. And I think that’s why I was quick to make changes the moment I realized something I was holding onto wouldn’t move me closer to my goals. I had no problem pivoting or starting over.
A job wasn’t working out? I would start looking for a new role – no matter if I had only started less than a month ago.
Apartment no longer felt like home? Move.
Felt stuck and uninspired? Change my scenery.
But those transitions were my choice.
When change isn’t planned
When unexpected changes started happening, I felt scared of the unknown. Scared of judgment. Scared of failure. Scared of making the wrong decisions. Scared of more loss.
And my nervous system didn’t feel safe. Sometimes I would fight and overperform hoping that I could work my way through a transition. Sometimes I would flee and get lost in my comfort shows as an escape. Sometimes I would freeze – overwhelmed by my new reality and grieving what was left behind.
I became scared of change.
Sometimes I would romanticize the past thinking “if things could go back to the way they were, everything would be okay”. I wanted things to be “normal”. What I didn’t appreciate at the time was that I had outgrown what was once “normal”. And with each unexpected change, each transition, there was a new normal to adapt to.
“Nothing ever ends
For things to stay the same, they have to change again”
And truth be told, staying stuck in the past holds us back. Change is one guarantee in life. And when I started to view change as an opportunity, it helped me overcome the fears.
That’s not to say I’m fearless – it means that I no longer let it stop me, even if the pace is slower.
I’ve found ways to overcome fear of change and I think they can help you too.
1) Reframe fear
Reframe how you look at fear. Fear doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Fear is a feeling. Feelings are data. They give us information.
Fear can just mean that something matters – that you care.
Let it inform you, not stop you.
Sometimes we treat fear as a stop sign. A red light. But what if it’s a yellow light? A sign of caution, not a full stop. Pause and ask: what is this fear trying to tell me? You may find that it’s simply asking you to pay attention.
Reframing doesn’t mean pretending you’re not scared. It means holding space for the fear without letting it make all the decisions. You can notice fear without feeding it. You can honor it without letting it control you.
2) Name the worst-case scenario — then take its power away
Acknowledging your fear doesn’t mean you’re not faithful.
What are you currently afraid of? You don’t have to say it out loud, but picture the thing you’re afraid of. Is it:
Fear of judgment?
Fear of failure?
Fear of success?
Fear of the unknown?
Let’s take a closer look at each of these examples.
Fear of Judgment
Studies show that feeling judged can cause stress and anxiety. And it can cause us to doubt ourselves, our words, and our actions. It’s why we might feel nervous before speaking publicly or when we feel put on the spot. Our brains respond to this fear in ways meant to protect us – including taking no action to avoid the perceived threat.
But not doing something out of fear of what others might think is a way of handing your power over to people who aren’t even living your life. The truth is, someone will always have an opinion. That doesn’t mean their opinion gets to shape your direction.
Fear of Failure
Other studies – including from the Cleveland Clinic – show that fear of failure can come from traumatic experiences, societal pressure, or environments where it wasn’t “acceptable” to fail.
If you’ve ever been punished or judged for making a mistake, it makes sense that you’d want to avoid that feeling again. But avoiding failure also means avoiding growth. Most successful people didn’t succeed because they were perfect — they succeeded because they were willing to keep going, even after setbacks.
What would it mean to redefine failure as feedback instead?
Fear of Success
This one surprises many people. Sometimes we’re afraid of success because we feel anxious about sustaining it or maintaining it once we receive it. We think that if we achieve success then we have to lose something else.
Success might mean more visibility, more responsibility, or new expectations — and if we’re honest, that can feel overwhelming. But what if success doesn’t have to cost you your peace, your boundaries, or your authenticity? What if it can be on your terms?
Ask yourself: And if that happens, what would I do? Walking it through helps shrink the fear. It reminds you that you’ve navigated hard things before — and you can again.
Fear of the Unknown
Let’s be honest — the unknown can be uncomfortable. When you don’t know what’s coming next, it can feel safer to stay where you are, even if you’re unfulfilled.
Sometimes we avoid new situations, pull back from people, or overthink everything until we talk ourselves out of the very thing we said we wanted. That’s how fear of the unknown works. It convinces us that predictable discomfort is safer than uncertain possibility.
I’ve seen it in my own life: choosing familiarity even when it no longer fit. Holding on to what I’d outgrown because I didn’t have a clear picture of what came next. Waiting for a “sign” to know that my next step would be the “right” one before taking it.
And listen, it takes time to challenge that fear. To remind yourself that just because you don’t have all the answers yet doesn’t mean you’re lost. Sometimes clarity comes after the leap, not before.
3) Visualize yourself 6–12 months from now
Fear in the present moment is valid and though I think staying present keeps you grounded, sometimes you need to look ahead.
Imagine what’s possible if you take the next step. What would your future – the you in 6 months, 12 months, 3 years – self thank you for?
You don’t need to know exactly how things will unfold — you just need a reason to keep going. Visualization helps give your nervous system a direction to focus on, rather than looping in uncertainty. Let your imagination paint a picture of what life could look like on the other side of change.
And if future-you had a message for you right now, what would they say? Probably something like: Keep going. It’s going to be worth it.
4) Believe someone who believes in you
When your own self-trust is running low, borrow someone else’s trust and confidence in you. Let their belief in you make your steps manageable until your own self-beliefs catch up.
We all have seasons where we can’t see ourselves clearly. Where we forget what we’re capable of. In those moments, it helps to lean on the people who remember who you are — especially when you’ve temporarily forgotten.
Sometimes, belief doesn’t come from within at first. And that’s okay. Find a mentor, a friend, a therapist, or a past version of yourself who saw your potential. Let them speak life into your process until your own voice gets stronger again.
5) Do it scared
You don’t have to be fearless to begin. Start with shaky hands and a steady intention. Courage often shows up before confidence does.
There’s power in doing the thing anyway. With preparation. With care. With awareness that fear might be there, but it’s not in control.
So often, we wait until we “feel ready.” But ready isn’t a feeling — it’s a choice. You get to decide that you’re ready to begin, even with doubt whispering in your ear.
What matters is that you begin.
For Reflection
A fear of change is common, and you’re not the only one who’s felt it. But fear doesn’t have to lead.
You can take one small, intentional step at a time. You can adjust how you approach change. You can move forward at your own pace. And you can still move towards something meaningful, even while scared. You’ve done hard things before, and you can do this too.
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